Should be skewered and barred: Noodle Bar, Phoenix Mills

Kainaz and I had gone to Noodle Bar for our Friday lunch. Friday lunch is an institution which we have from our courting days and have maintained over the years.
I ordered a chicken satay as a starter followed by a customised wok.
The wok came first before the starter. So we sent it back.
Then came the satays. I love satays. I first had them at the erstwhile Lemon Grass at Bandra. And over the years at the Night Safari at Singapore and at KL and Langkawai. I loved the tender, smoky, bite of the meat in satays and their suble, slightly sweet Oriental taste.
What we got at Noodle Bar were deep fried (!), tasteless chunks of meat. They were oily, a far cry from the shimmery texture of satays I have had in the past, and very, very, tastless. Every bite made me wince at the thought of what could have been and what it was. These were charred beyond redemption.
We then called back for our wok. They got it back without even heating it. We sent it back and they micro'd it and got it back. The result was slightly limp noodles which didn't have the zing and bite of a freshly tossed wok. And all because the cretins did not think of getting it after the starter unlike what we had instructed them. The prawns were deep fried to reach the consistency of raw lizard skin. I am sure that was to hide the fact that they were not fresh.
And, mind you, this was not cheap. A peach ice tea (which was warm and had sugar granules at the bottom as they did not bother to stir it and get it), the satay rocks and the geriatric wok cost us Rs 480 or about 12 USD which is not exactly cheap here. It pained me to sign the cheque.
At least these blotches on the name of Bombay restaurants are consistent in their inept slovenliness. The people in the table adjacent to us were kicking a big fuss about flies in their food. Oh, the loo was dirty too and as Tony Bourdain says the state of a restaurant loo shows how hygienic the kitchen is. I am sure even he would have reservations about Noodle Bar.