Lessons in Corporate Cake Cutting Excellence

I have some pretty strong views on cake cutting ceremonies at work. I have often held talks on this integral facet of corporate life. These are the stuff of legends. People listen with rapt attention. Today a few fortunate folks got to hear the Knife's take on how to cut a cake at work. The key take-outs are:

  • Don't smash cake on people's faces. Don't waste cake. Think of the poor workers who have got Bangalore'd 
  • Cakes should be cut into cubes. Not slices. When will you post liberalisation folks learn the value of money? Now in our time ...
  • Be like a surgeon. Hold the knife tight. Plunge it in. Don't stop till you reach the bottom. Take the knofe out slowly and steadily. The cake shouldn't fall apart. People depend on you

Curiously enough the audience looked a lot happier once my Ted Talk was over. Come to think of it, the knife is raised disturbingly high in the second photograph. Got to check my insurance policy.

Note: It wasn't my birthday but I had to take control and cut the cake. The cake was from 5 Spice and tasted fantastic.