Lessons in Corporate Cake Cutting Excellence

I have some pretty strong views on cake cutting ceremonies at work. I have often held talks on this integral facet of corporate life. These are the stuff of legends. People listen with rapt attention. Today a few fortunate folks got to hear the Knife's take on how to cut a cake at work. The key take-outs are:

  • Don't smash cake on people's faces. Don't waste cake. Think of the poor workers who have got Bangalore'd 
  • Cakes should be cut into cubes. Not slices. When will you post liberalisation folks learn the value of money? Now in our time ...
  • Be like a surgeon. Hold the knife tight. Plunge it in. Don't stop till you reach the bottom. Take the knofe out slowly and steadily. The cake shouldn't fall apart. People depend on you

Curiously enough the audience looked a lot happier once my Ted Talk was over. Come to think of it, the knife is raised disturbingly high in the second photograph. Got to check my insurance policy.

Note: It wasn't my birthday but I had to take control and cut the cake. The cake was from 5 Spice and tasted fantastic.









Comments

Harman said…
WOW...that s good lesson!
Not messy and exact portion for everyone!!
Pinku said…
good lesson...

in my office I am the official cke cutter...since I dont eat the stuff...people feel they can trust me with it ;)
Scarlett said…
Why are all MR office so drab? :(

Coming to cake cutting in office, I hate it when cakes are smashed on to people's faces. It's so juvenile & idiotic.
The knife said…
@Harman, I guess I have the mindset who has to make ends meet when it comes to cake

@Oinku, you don't say so!!!!

@Scarlett, this was an ex adverising office. We are migrants
The Bride said…
You are so right about not smashing cake on people's faces. I really don't get that! The cube-cutting is good idea too. I'm adding cake-cutting to list of things (like cooking) I cannot do.
Miri said…
You are a cake cutting control freak too? welcome to the club - my lessons were learnt when we used to cut quarter kilo cakes for 25 people in the hostel! ;)
theflorastores said…
You are right about not smashing cake on people's faces. I really don't get that. i like cake